Letters to Sarah Jane
by MissNessarose
Summary: Due to the effects of a poison from a far-off planet, Sarah falls deep into a coma that even the Doctor isn't so sure she'll recover from. He does his best, though. Upon finding a blank notebook, Harry does what he can as well. He writes to her. (Slight Harry/Sarah Jane, but can be read as just friendship. Rated T for rather intense situations and hospital nonsense.)
1. Prologue

"You look a little pale, Sarah, are you sure you're alright?"

The Doctor eyes her almost suspiciously across the console, and she sighs heavily.

"I'm fine, really!" Sarah Jane insists stubbornly, because it's near the seventh time he's asked her. Now, though, she's not feeling so confident in her answer because her hands are shaking, the console room feels like it's tipping and spinning around her, and she feels like she's going to be sick.

"I'm fine, I just—"

The TARDIS tips dangerously as they return to the calm, empty voids of space again, drifting gently and aimlessly among the scattered stars. The three of them topple like items off of a shelf as the entire room leans to the left, the Doctor gripping the controls hard in an effort to keep standing.

"I just..." Sarah Jane blinks and presses a hand to her forehead, looking up to meet the Doctor's gaze. She looks like she wants to say more, but practically crumples, crashing hard to the floor.

"Sarah!"

Both men are checking her over in an instant, but the Doctor is the one who folds back the collar of her jacket. As he'd expected, there's a set of three pinpricks on the side of her neck in a triangular pattern.

"Poison," he says softly, not daring to let his fingers brush the wound. Harry doesn't exactly understand what's going on, but before he can even think of the right question to ask, the Time Lord has huddled Sarah Jane into his arms and taken off into the interior of the TARDIS.

"Doctor!" Harry calls after him, trying to follow the echoes of footsteps through the twisting halls. He gets lost once or twice, but eventually finds his way.

Once, he'd wound up in a sort of medical room—a cupboard of bandages and spare disinfectant, really—but not _this _before. No, this is a fully functional hospital room with a bed against the left wall, and the cabinets fully stocked. The Doctor stands still by the bed for a moment, having already bustled about and fiddled with things, attaching monitors and such.

Harry can't even count—and doesn't recognize—half of the monitors that Sarah Jane is now hooked up to, her arms still at her side and an oxygen mask on (and even in a proper hospital gown, though Harry doesn't know where or why the Doctor keeps them).

"You know," he points out, glancing over the equipment somewhat suspiciously, "I'm a doctor as well, I could have—"

"Not this, Harry," the Doctor says sharply. "No, not this. She's been poisoned, and it's exactly what I was afraid of. I knew going through that jungle was a bad idea, the plants there are rather difficult and sometimes hostile like this. There's nothing you can do."

"Oh," he sighs, pulling up a hard plastic chair against the cabinets.

The Doctor keeps his eyes down, and lightly pats Sarah Jane's hand, connected to several IV tubes that are taped across the back, between her knuckles and by her wrist. "No, you can't help her...and I"m afraid that I might not be able to, either. I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry tries to smile, but can't find the will to. "Then I'm sorry, too."

* * *

He doesn't remember when the Doctor left to go land the TARDIS somewhere relatively safe, to put her around some lonely and distant moon, but Harry sits silently in the room and doesn't really move. He can't read the monitors, and doesn't even know what they're there _for, _either.

So, Harry rummages through mildly empty drawers in the counters, to see what medical supplies are stocked, or to even find an instruction manual to tell him what these things _mean, _to find out what's _wrong _with her.

In one drawer—that was also a home to three cotton balls, a stick of banana taffy, a small ball of wool, and a half-eaten roll of crackers—there lies a notebook. It's smaller than any one he'd have for notes at home, maybe only half the size. It's pale blue, with _Medical Journal_ in white cursive lettering across the front. Idly flipping through the pages, Harry notices that they're all completely empty. Neatly lined, unmarked, and totally blank.

"Going through my things, Sullivan?"

He jumps nearly a foot, because he hadn't even heard the Doctor come in. Harry tosses the journal aside onto the counter and tries to apologize, but the Doctor holds up a hand to silence him, and gestures to the notebook.

"Found something interesting?"

"Just an empty medical journal," Harry shrugs absently, flipping through the blank pages again. "Completely blank."

The Doctor crosses to the doors. "So use it," he suggests.

"Use it for what?"

The Time Lord nods to the bed, and to their patient. "Well, she's deep in a coma, and it'll be more than just a few days of recovery. Write to her, Harry."

And so he does.


	2. Week 1

**Week 1**

* * *

_Day 1_

_Well, Sarah, today's been quite a mess, hasn't it? The Doctor won't even tell me what's wrong, really. Just that you've been poisoned, due to those funny little marks on your neck (in case they go away before you wake up, I've made a little sketch of them in the left margin there ←Bermuda Triangle? Might be). He's gotten you hooked up to all of these strange little machines, and you're in a coma now, though I'm not quite sure how, or why. (How dangerous __is__this poison, exactly?) The Doctor said to write in this little journal, and so I will. We'll see how all this goes. _

_I'm awfully worried for you, old girl. _

_Best wishes, _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 2_

_I know what's wrong now, and maybe that's what's worrying me. _

_You're in a coma (as if that wasn't already obvious) in order to fight against this poison. Your organs, in order to save themselves, are also shutting down. Locking themselves off, in a way. _

_That's all good and fine, of course, but how much time does this buy you? How long can you shut down before the process can't be reversed? _

_I'm full of questions, Sarah, and I wonder if everything will be okay. _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 3_

_The Doctor's been holed up in the library since yesterday, trying to find a cure for this toxin we're dealing with. _

_So far, nothing. _

_But we'll keep looking, just for you, Sarah._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 4_

_Still nothing. The books and the references available to the TARDIS aren't doing us much good, and we haven't found any information of use just yet. The TARDIS is starting to feel rather empty without you properly in it, Sarah. _

_I wonder how you're doing in there, and wonder if you even know what's going on right now. I'm sure, though, that if you could see us now, all frantic and worried, you'd laugh at us, old thing. _

_You probably would. _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 5_

_The Doctor wonders if we should try some intergalactic hospital or other, but I'm not so sure how comfortable I feel handing you over to that lot of cats dressed up like nuns. (Suspicious, if you ask me). And it'd be quite a hassle, too, with all of the things you're hooked to in here._

_Are you just as scared as we are, Sarah? I'm not sure what else we can do, and I wonder if it'll be enough to bring you back._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 6_

_The Doctor decided to take himself on a little adventure to take his mind off of things today. However, I've found myself a nice stack of books to read, and I think I'll just stay here with you, Sarah. _

_I hope he doesn't get himself into __too__much trouble without us. _

_(But we both know that he will no matter how hard we wish). _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 7_

_It's rather hard to believe that it's been a whole week so far without you, Sarah. It's quiet._

_But, your condition hasn't changed, which, I suppose, is both a blessing and a curse. While you haven't really gotten any better, you also haven't gotten worse. This shut-down the Doctor talked about seems to be happening rather slowly, it seems. _

_So, I suppose that's alright for now. The Doctor found a similar plant to the one you interacted with on that little escapade of his, and he's run off to go and ask the locals about it. _

_Who knows, maybe he'll find out something worth our while. _

_I'm crossing my fingers..._

_-Harry_


	3. Week 2

**Week 2**

* * *

_Day 8_

_The plant wasn't that similar after all, it seems. We're at another dead end of information, and neither of us are very sure where else we should turn. _

_Are you okay Sarah? _

_Hold on for me._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 9_

_We had a bit of a scare today. Your heartbeat quickened rather rapidly for just a little while, but by the time I had gotten the Doctor to double-check, you'd seemed to have regulated the problem yourself. _

_Not sure of the cause, but it's good to know that you're okay. _

_At least for now._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 10_

_The Doctor decided to do a little scan of your head, today. (Just to check for anything wrong, I guess). Nothing out of the ordinary, so I suppose that that means you're okay in there. Does it feel like you're asleep, Sarah? I've often wondered about that sort of a thing, sometimes. I hope you don't feel any of this, because I think it'd be quite an awful experience. I guess I'm in charge of your IV's now, but the Doctor's the one who has to check all of the monitors. Though I'd like him to explain them to me sometime, I don't think I'd understand most of it. _

_So I'll sit here, and you get your rest. If you dream, Sarah, I hope you dream of happier things. _

_No Daleks, for a start._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 11_

_The Doctor's gone, I think. I'm worried that something might have happened. I think I'll go and look for him, if that's alright._

* * *

_Day 12_

_He's holed himself up in his room, I think—at least, I assume that's what the door leads to. I didn't want to interrupt if he's going to mope about, but I also didn't want to stray too far from your room either. Who knows how long he'll keep himself in there? Looks like I'm in charge of things for now. _

_The Doctor really has every right to be upset about this, I think, but it's not his fault, and there's no need to go beating yourself up over things that have already happened. _

_I've beaten myself up over this entire disaster plenty of times in the last week or so._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 13_

_I've tried to get him to come out and deal with what's really important right now, but he won't answer me. The Doctor's a strange one, and I don't really know him that well, either. I hope he'll have enough sense to come out of his hole on his own. _

_I can't do this on my own, Sarah. _

_But it looks like I've got the night watch again. Thank heaven for the sofa here in the corner._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 14_

_I'm the only man on call for now, it seems. I just wonder if I'm capable enough to handle your life on my own right now, with half of this equipment being completely foreign to me. For example, the machine on your right with the diamond-shaped monitor is..._

_Not good right now._

_Got to run. _

_It's flashing and I have no idea what that means. _

_Sarah? _

_Stay here. Please stay with us._


	4. Week 3

**Week 3**

* * *

_Day 15_

_-No entry-_

* * *

_Day 16_

_-No entry-_

* * *

_Day 17_

_Everything's okay now, Sarah. You're just fine. _

_I feel like a wreck, and maybe you do, too. It's understandable._

_This shutdown isn't taking its sweet time anymore, it seems. The other day, your lungs decided to stop. The Doctor, of course, is back now, and it doesn't look like he'll be running off anytime soon (which is good). You're on another tube and machine setup for your respiration now._

_You're starting to look more and more like a dead body on life support. _

_I wonder how many pieces of machinery will be functioning for you by the time this toxin runs its course._

_I'm so sorry, Sarah._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 18_

_The TARDIS is reacting to the situation as well. The lights in your room have been kept rather low, which is nice, and today I woke up to find a window just to the left of your bed. A real window, looking out on what could be miles and miles of country, with sunlight streaming in across your bed. _

_The TARDIS likes adding touches like that, the Doctor said. _

_I rather like the window, and it's made the day surprisingly easier to bear, somehow._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 19_

_You're looking a lot better than you did during the first week, Sarah. Your pulse is back to being strong, and we did another scan of your head. Everything's running fine, and you even started to breathe on your own for a few minutes (it's not much, but it's a start). _

_We're finally getting somewhere, old girl. _

_Our Sarah Jane might be just fine._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 20_

_Your lungs are worse today, I'm afraid. We had to turn the artificial respirator up to a higher setting—if that's what those dials meant. The Doctor doesn't like the look of things, and fears that the worst of this mess might be still to come. _

_I've got a sick feeling that he's right, and I want anything but that to happen to you, Sarah. _

_You're strong enough to pull through, right? _

_Come on, old girl. For me._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 21_

_I think I'm beginning to live in this hospital room rather than my actual bedroom. That's not a bad thing, either, seeing that this is a decently comfortable room (nicer than any hospital I've been to on Earth, that's for sure). _

_The window changed today. Instead, it shows the stars. _

_Starlight shone across the room like it was a dream, Sarah. _

_I hope things can only get better from here on._

_I miss you._

_-Harry_


	5. Week 4

**Week 4**

* * *

_Day 22_

_Woke up suddenly (in what I suppose would be the 'middle of the night' were we on Earth, but time passes so strangely here...) after quite a nasty nightmare, I must say. The window came with curtains, and I closed them so quickly that I startled myself a bit. _

_It's just...the moonlight on your face, you looked like a corpse, Sarah. I couldn't take it._

_I sat by your bed, and...and I'll admit it, old girl, I cried. _

_Please, Sarah. _

_Don't do this. _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 23_

_Morale is running low among the crew. The Doctor made a few sandwiches and I realized I hadn't eaten in days. _

_Even then, I still couldn't manage to eat much of anything. Too worried, I guess. You haven't really eaten anything, either—I don't think the IV's supplements really count, personally._

_Still dreaming, Sarah? I hope so._

_Until you wake up, I'll sit and hold your hand. _

_I'll just...wait here._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 24_

_I wonder if I can diagnose myself with depression. A temporary matter and not clinical, most likely, but depression nonetheless. It's empty without you, Sarah Jane Smith, and there's so much that I've missed in the last three weeks._

_The way that your eyes shine when you get excited. _

_Your smile._

_Your laugh. _

_The way you get upset about me at times. _

_I was raised to be a gentleman, Sarah, and told to take care of the important women in your life. I try to protect you. _

_I couldn't, however, protect you from all of this, and I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself for that._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 25_

_Your heart is starting to show signs of failure, and we're worried stiff. The Doctor's joined me in the room, and he mostly stays on the floor with a book or with some puzzle or other. Mostly quiet. We don't talk. There's nothing to be said. _

_Keep that heart of yours beating strong, my Sarah Jane. _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 26 _*scrawled hurriedly halfway across the entire page*

_Heart failure._

* * *

_Day 27_

_-No entry-_

* * *

_Day 28_

_-No entry-_


	6. Week 5

**Week 5**

* * *

_Day 29_

_Total collapse, old girl. Complete. _

_It's a mess trying to check things now, having to wade our way in between the equipment. You've shut down, Sarah, and we're praying hard that we can bring you back from this point. The worst has come, I'm afraid, and I don't know if there's anything we can do about it._

_The Doctor's onto something, and I'm to stay here while he runs out and checks._

_Just a few more days at most, Sarah. I promise. _

_Don't die on us. Not now._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 30_

_He's found something. _

_By God, he's found it. The Doctor came running back into the TARDIS in a right mess, curls every which way and his scarf absolutely lopsided and one sleeve of his jacket missing completely. In his hand, a fistful of leaves. The natives—a rather advanced race, but fairly far out of galactic reach, and secluded as well, which is why we found the information so late—ensured him that it would be just fine, and he brought one back to help him fix things. _

_It's a nasty blue paste they've managed to get into you, Sarah, but I hope it will work. _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 31_

_My hands ache from the chest compressions I've had to administer today. Heart failure again, but now the machine tells us you'll be fine for now. I wonder if those strangers were wrong, Sarah. _

_How long can a cure take? _

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 32_

_I think I saw you smile today, if that's possible. Were you dreaming of something happy? What adventure were the three of us on? Maybe we were back on Earth as if nothing were wrong, and having a grand old time. _

_I miss doing that, you know. _

_I hope it's because you're feeling better. You're breathing on your own again._

_Things are looking up, Sarah Jane._

* * *

_Day 33_

_You're doing even better, I must say, even with a minor scare early this morning. You're starting to function on your own again, and we've been able to remove some attachments as necessary. Slowly, but surely, everything might be working out, old thing. _

_I'm very, very happy._

_-Harry_

* * *

_Day 34_

_I must say, the recovery so far has been something I've never seen before. There's enough space around your bed now that I can pull up a chair and write by your side, instead of on the sofa across the room. _

_The window's back to sunlight, and it's rather bright today. Still a country setting, but it's very beautiful. I could've sworn I saw some sheep wander past earlier. Was...was your hand on mine earlier, Sarah? _

_I don't remember holding it before._

_Sarah Jane?_

_You're awake..._

_(End of Entries)_


End file.
